Characters:
Pat( Mid to late 20s, questionable employment, lax morals, perpetually high strung, hates banana flavored things.)
Brant( Jamba Juice employee, super chill, kinda a bro.)
Brant: (In a bored, clearly rehearsed tone ) Welcome to Jamba Juice, from the makers of Juumanga Jam, would you like to try the new Jahama Mama smoothie?
Pat: (Distracted, reading the menu) What? No. Uh… Hey! Do you guys have any smoothies that don’t have banana in it?
Brant: Is it an allergy or a preference?
Pat: Huh? I just don’t like banana and it seems like all the smoothies have banana in them.
Brant: Yeah.
Beat
Pat: So… Do any NOT have banana?
Brant: Probably.
Beat
Pat: Such as…?
Brant: Hm?
Beat
Pat: (sigh) Fine! Let’s try this. What’s in the “Taste of the Tropics” smoothie?
Brant: Coconut, Pineapple, and Banana.
Pat: And the “Live Well Live Now” smoothie?
Brant: Assorted wild berries, lemon grass, added protein, and Banana.
Pat: And the “Citrus Blend?”
Brant: Lemon, Lime, Orange, and Banana.
Pat: Why the hell does the Citrus Blend have banana in it?
Brant: Because it’s a blend of all four citrus fruits…
Pat: Banana is NOT a citrus fruit!
Brant: Sure it is. Lemon, lime, orange and…
Pat: Grapefruit.
Brant: Banana. Huh?
Pat: Grapefruit. Grapefruit is the fourth citrus fruit.
Brant: That sounds fake.
Pat: Okay… How about the “Dream-Team?”
Brant: That’s pretty much just banana.
Pat: Then why’s it called a TEAM? Nevermind! The “Very Cherry” smoothie?
Brant: Cherry and banana.
Pat: The “Olde Timer?”
Brant: Root-beer and banana.
Pat: “Over the moon?”
Brant: The space ship is a banana and the moon is two bananas.
Pat: GAH! Isn’t there anything I can buy?!
Brant: Well… There is one thing…
Pat: Please! What is it? You know what? I don’t care. I’ll take one. Fuck it! I’ll take two.
Brant: Okay… Two Chocolate-Banana smoothies…
Pat: I need you to be straight with me(reading Brant’s name tag) Brant? Does the Choc-o-late Ba-nan-a smoothie contain banana?
Brant: I don’t know. I’ve never had it.
End.